Boviosity!

Disgusting

Oh, look.

I'm at a loss. I love my church, but I don't want to be seen as supporting this man or his little friend. I've sent a tortured e-mail to my Asst. Rector. I'll keep you posted.

Confused about WMD and Iraq?

Dr. Krauthammer states the case. It can't be made any clearer than this. I recommend you just read it.

This is why

This is why I used to be shy around people. I thought they were all like this.

(If you're starting to think, "Man, this guy is WAY behind on his Achewood," then you must also envy me. And if you're thinking, "Man, I'm WAY behind on my Achewood," then I envy you.)

Dog name

I'm naming my next dog Scrambles.

Guy Down The Street update

I've heard an allegory about a "Guy Down The Street" that anti-war activists like to tell about mean old Bush took out mean old Saddam. Here's my version:

A crazy guy down the street goes to his neighbor's house and shoots one of the neighbor's kids with a rocket-propelled grenade and threatens the rest of the neighborhood with the same treatment.

The police come and shoo him back to his house but do not arrest him or take him away. He loudly threatens to use an RPG on anybody who comes after him. The police respond by requiring him to surrender all his RPG's and let them check his house and certify it RPG-free, or they'll come in after him and take him to jail. To show their seriousness, they order the mailman to stop delivering to his house.

The police show up to perform the search. The neighbor refuses them entrance to more than one room at a time, and every time they move toward the basement he kicks them out, loudly proclaiming that he has no RPG's. Then when they get back to the station, he calls all the neighbors and says, "See how my RPG's scared the cops away? By the way, I don't like *your* kids either!" He also takes out a PO box and starts getting his mail there instead of at the house.

Meanwhile, you're growing nervous about this guy. Another crazy guy two streets over, a close friend and associate of the original crazy guy, took out 20 of his neighbors' houses with a homemade bomb.

You do a quick calculation and you notice that your house is not within range of the RPG's this guy says he has. Well, that's nice, but your kids like to play at some houses well within the guy's range. All the while, he's saying that anybody who tries to take action will get an RPG up their butt for their trouble. You and the other neighbors notice he's also got a pile of dead kids in his backyard, some of them killed with RPG's. You go to the police and demand they take action; they say they can't do it alone. You offer to help, and they say you're not allowed to do anything without them. You tell them you're going to take action and ask them for help; they refuse.

You go and lock the guy up. He hides in his childrens' room and you accidentally kill one of his kids in the process of taking him away. You then determine that the guy doesn't have any RPG's in the house after all, but he has credit card slips for 1000 RPG's which were scheduled to arrive at the PO Box whenever he wanted them.

What should the police do to you now?

Visited States Map - Cool

Here's my map of visited states:

create your own visited states map
or write about it on the open travel guide

My map shows a distinct car-oriented visitation pattern, I think. Oklahoma is the only state I haven't driven to. I flew there for Army basic training.

Link via Atlanta-area blogger snoozebuttondreams! Drop by and say hello. Tell him Bovious sent you.

Yeah, kinda pissed

I got XM Radio about a year ago, and spent big bucks for the Delphi Sky-Fi receiver and installation. I paid close to $300 for the total deal: Sky-Fi, car kit, and installation at Best Buy. Back then, that was really the cheapest option I could find.

I love the service, don't get me wrong. But I would've waited another few months for this.

- With an XM receiver, micro-antenna, and a cassette adaptor, the Delphi XM Roady is a complete XM Radio system for the car in one simple package for only $119.99.

Crap, crap, crap.

That said, I'm getting the Roady for my wife's car ASAP. Other than this little incident, I couldn't be happier with my XM radio service. If you like to listen to car radio, this is a must-have.

Atlantic Monthly "Gets" Dr. Laura

I posted awhile back about how Dr. Laura influenced me to reexamine my relationship with my family and with God. Now Caitlin Flanagan in The Atlantic Monthly of all places writes with deep understanding about her. I definitely couldn't have said it better myself.

She's a fishwife and a bit of a kook, a woman given to comically dramatic changes of heart and habit, but Dr. Laura gives some of the best advice about marriage and family life available on the radio, or perhaps anywhere in popular American culture. I say this somewhat wearily, for it is no easy task defending this woman.

She got that right. I've never mentioned her without someone else in the room howling with derision. Usually it's someone who's never listened to the show, of course.

Flanagan's conclusion is especially apt:

There are many of us who understand that once you have children, certain doors ought to be closed to you forever. That to do right by a child means more than buying him the latest bicycle helmet and getting him on the best soccer team. It means investing oneself completely in the marriage that wrought him, for there isn't a person in the world who won't date his moments of greatest happiness to the time his family was the most intact, whole, unshakable. I wish there was someone a bit more hip and glamorous than Laura standing up for this simple truth, but in our time and place there isn't.

"Do as I say, not as I do" might be Schlessinger's motto—never a particularly inspiring credo, yet I am often inspired by Dr. Laura. More than once I have thought through a problem and behaved in a way that's made me proud because I've followed advice gleaned from her show. The measure of a person, she believes (and I have come to believe), is found not in what one thinks but in what one does. Action is everything. It's a lesson I could have learned from Aristotle, I suppose, but Aristotle doesn't have a three-hour slot on AM radio. Nor could he have imagined the complete mess that so many Americans have made of family life.

I only wish I could still listen to her - she's not on in Atlanta, at least not that I know of. Maybe I don't need to, really. I got what I needed from her. She is everything Flanagan says and more - infuriating, cloying, shrill - but even when she's wrong she's wrong for the right reasons. Her eye is on the prize. And she can be very, very entertaining. I wish more people who normally would scoff could understand her as well as Flanagan does.

Poker-Face watch

Dennis Miller nails Peter Jennings:

"At least I come out upfront and tell people about my politics," Miller said. "He sits there and displays it through subtle poker (expressions) all year long — the raised eyebrows, the arch tone of the voice. We get it that he's liberal. We get it that he doesn't like Bush. Just come out and say it!"

Speaking of poker-faces, here's the article's description of Jennings:

one of the titans of objective network news

They've got to be kidding.

I know, I know. He's an Indepeeeeeeendent. (That's what all the liberal callers to Boortz, Hannity, et. al. call themselves. Come on, admit and we'll move on.)

Sunday

I received the best compliments yet on my guitar playing yesterday. I accompanied my church's cherub choir and three people told me the following:

1. Jerry, a wry old fellow who's a church stalwart: "Your playing made me want to get up and sing."

2. Peggy, a fellow guitarist who took it up about two years ago: "I bet you just picked up and played that without any rehearsal or anything, didn't you?"

3. Chuck, another fellow guitarist: "Really smooth and rhythmic."

This was a simple accompaniment - C / F / G7 / C / C7 / F etc. etc. etc. that I played all the way through in a standard bluegrass walking-bass style. Peggy was sort of right - I mostly rehearsed the intro (I'll try to tab it out, no promises, though) and the finale (a simple run on the C) - but it was smooth.

I need to learn more "songs," especially things I can play and sing to. I'm trying out for "Cotton Patch Gospel" in a couple months, and although they've already signed up a bluegrass band, I'm hoping to be able to play and sing a solo. Maybe I'll work up "Sunny Side Of Life." I can practice along with Doc Watson!

Bovious praises Clinton

One refrain that I hear and which just shuts me up, not in a good way, is best exemplified by Ted Kennedy's notion that the war on Terrorism is a "fraud," "cooked up" to win the next election. This is one of those abyss moments: when I hear this kind of talk, I know there's no overcoming the differences between us. Why not talk about music or movies or books instead. (Actually, I like to change the subject by whispering, "Ixnay on the editionsay, Ashcroft might be isteninglay.")

So imagine my shock at reading this report of Bill Clinton at Davos.

And you may be interested to know that any time he referred to the Bush administration, or alluded to it, it was in a complimentary way. He told this crowd [...] that much of what we're doing, successfully, in the War on Terror never makes the newspapers. For example, "cells are rolled up," which you never hear about. The administration has achieved "cooperation with other governments" that is not "inherently sensational" but "has saved a lot of people's lives." You never hear about this bomb found in this container on this cargo ship destined for this port — and "I could give you 50 other examples."

Damning Bush with faint praise? Perhaps, but there are people for whom these words, from Clinton, will fall as red-hot ingots on the heart. Wonder if anybody besides Nordlinger will report them?

This is the second Clinton-praising post this year at Boviosity. Will wonders never cease.

Link via the Instaman.

Another week

Another week, another lunch at Ted's Montana Grill, this time courtesy of an old friend. Thanks, old friend.

Here's hoping I don't turn out like this guy.

LAST February, Morgan Spurlock decided to become a gastronomical guinea pig. His mission: To eat three meals a day for 30 days at McDonald's and document the impact on his health.

Scores of cheeseburgers, hundreds of fries and dozens of chocolate shakes later, the formerly strapping 6-foot-2 New Yorker - who started out at a healthy 185 pounds - had packed on 25 pounds.

But his supersized shape was the least of his problems.

Within a few days of beginning his drive-through diet, Spurlock, 33, was vomiting out the window of his car, and doctors who examined him were shocked at how rapidly Spurlock's entire body deteriorated.

(Link via Romenesko)

Who is The Joker?

Dean's World has an interesting new contributor: an anonymous blogger called The Joker. I may steal this idea someday.

RIP Ron

Nice obit for Ron Crickenberger, former Atlantan and former political director of the Libertarian Party. I partied (not Libertarianly) with Ron during my wilder days. I think of him often and he will be missed. He was always good-natured even when I (a liberal at the time) ribbed him about his Libertarian Party loyalties.

I think I'll eat a plate of nachoes in his honor. This one's on me.

UPDATE: I realize the above is a bit cryptic. Ron was a generous and friendly person, and we attended numerous concerts by Darryl Rhodes and the Men From G.L.A.D., a rockin' comedy band from the early '80's. (The link is to an old story about Darryl's old band, the Hahavishnu Orchestra. I used to know of an actual Darryl site, but I've lost it.) I mentioned to some friends at lunch that Ron always bought nachoes at these shows, and they were mystified. Now, that could mean a few things:

1. They were too far gone, the concert atmosphere being what it was, to notice;
2. Ron only bought nachoes for me; or
3. I ate Ron's nachoes.

Whichever is the case, I ate a lot of nachoes on Ron, and I appreciated it and knew he was a great person. And I did have a plate of nachoes tonight for dinner.

I don't know how long this will remain up, but here is Ron's website from a previous run for Congress.

Random Zappa Quote Generator

Cool! Click here, read the title bar - it frequently includes random zappa quotes!

There's also a "Frank Says" box on the right-hand side, about 1/4 way down.

Oh, the page also includes a lot of interesting information about people who want to kill us.

Wake me at 5:30

I ate at Ted's Montana Grill for lunch today with my work group. It was pretty darn good, the atmosphere was fine, and the prices quite reasonable. I'll be back.

That's right, Boviosity is no longer a lunch-blog free zone.

One hint: the onion rings are the big fat bready kind, not the skinny kind I prefer. At least they were better than Sonic's, which I think are the worst examples of the big fat bready kind. The fries looked good but I didn't want to get into that whole foodie eating-off-other-people's-plates thing.

Bush-hater imitates Scrappleface

Science fiction division:

President George W. Bush's ambitious space exploration programme destroys visions of genuine co-operation, and sets the scene for a military space race. Already, the International Space Station has been declared a casualty. Its mode of operation is incompatible with the broadening of the National Aeronautics and Space Administration's strategic plan to include what the Pentagon wants. A core reason for sending astronauts to the moon, and eventually to Mars, is to extend American military supremacy in space.

Regrettably, this is not the first time the Bush Administration has put self-interest above idealistic notions, thumbing its nose at international co-operation in the process. The President talks frequently of a global vision; the reality is far different. Within months of coming to power, he encouraged a Cold War-style anxiety by ditching the long-standing and successful Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty in favour of the Star Wars missile defence system. Soon after, he announced that the US wanted no part of the Kyoto Protocol, and demanded that American soldiers be out of reach of the International Criminal Court.

Russia and China [...] will see the military context of the US space programme as final proof that they must mount their own exploration missions - and quickly. The opportunity to cultivate an international approach has been lost. Mankind has taken a giant step backward.

Oh, it's not satire? My bad.

Mitch "gets" Perrin

Mitch Berg lights into Dennis Perrin over his attack on Lileks. It's a well-done fisking, passionate and full of interesting details.

I have two kids, too. They're 10 and 12, so they're not as cute as Gnat anymore, but I'm still pretty attached to them. I suspect Perrin would call me a "Warblogger", too - and he'd probably be equally flummoxed by the way I juxtapose my kids and my firm belief in the War on Terror so far.

But there's no way to separate the two. And it involves a different pile of rubble altogether.

I almost regret my comment on the post.

UPDATE: Added link to Mitch's post. Guess that would help, wouldn't it?

Oh, great

MARS, Mars (DPI) -- Kennedy Space Center analysts were shocked today when the Mars Rover suddenly ceased transmitting video from the Martian surface. It appears that a single Martian fighter disabled the Rover using the old "wrap string around the legs and pull" trick made famous in Star Wars and Lord Of The Rings movies.

"I have no excuse," says Spencer Nurdley, chief Rover designer. "Oh, I know, 'Return Of The King'" came out years after my design was finalized. But I should have recognized this vulnerability from my many viewings of 'The Empire Strikes Back.' Oh, fighters of Hoth, I have failed to learn your bitter lesson!"

Experts say the incident will probably not hurt Mr. Nurdley's dating chances.

Comic Page Emergency!

My comics page philosophy is simple: any city any of whose newspapers' comics pages features "Cathy" and which is not rocked by anti-"Cathy" violence on at least a weekly basis deserves whatever comics it gets.

Current events in Atlanta are challenging this notion, however. The comics page recently added 5 new strips and deleted some others. I don't care, really. Cathy's still in the mix, so there's still a higher percentage of comics that look as if they were fingerpainted with snot than I normally like to see. However, they're also dangling some others over the balcony, and one that is on the edge is one of my favorites, "Monty."

Monty has some of the best drawing and some of the oddest gags you ever saw. But don't take my word for it. Today's strip combines both of those, with a seriously sleep-deprived Monty taking on a Security Guard gig at a local U-stor.

Now. The AJC is running a web poll to save one of five strips, ranging from execrable to Monty. Won't you vote for Monty? Apparently, some smartypants has initiated a campaign to stuff the balloting for the ever-mysterious "Judge Parker." Aside from that, which surely is an anomaly, the less-than-Monty "Sally Forth" is in the lead. Sorry, but if "For Better Or For Worse" is going to be cluttering up the page, we don't need another "Ain't normal life just zippy" strip like SF.

Vote Monty! Vote often!

CORRECTION: That's Monty's buddy Moondog doing the sleep-walking.

Stage Two The Darkness Alert

Have you tasted The Darkness?

Me, I'm only at Stage Two.

"First people fear us, then they start foaming at the mouth because they want us. And then they start attacking other people."

But watch out.

I freely confess, and all of you probably already know, that I'm a sucker for this particular brand of bubble gum. What can I say? It just makes me feel good.

More on the lighter side

Twenty ways to maintain a healthy level of insanity from Dean.

Just read it. It's fun.

I hereby add:

21. Call in sick. From your cubicle.

22. When following a blind person with a guide dog, wait for the dog to stop and then yell, "Hey, your dog crapped on my foot!"

Hey, I know what let's do!

Have you heard about American Airlines Pilot Dale Hirsch? He flipped off the Brazilian immigration officer who was photographing him in that country's silly tit-for-tat initiative against US security measures. For his trouble, he was *arrested* by Brazilian immigration!

At 9:30PM EST today, let's all step outside and give Brazil the biggest bird they ever saw in their lives.

No need to hide...I don't think they can come get us.

Pass it on.

Carefully-Planned Event Ruined

The president's coming to town today and will lay a wreath on the gravesite of Martin Luther King Jr.

What an honor! How appropriate!

What a hassle for the people who would have denounced him as a racist if he hadn't showed up!

After some spirited haggling, a compromise has been reached that will allow both a visit today by President Bush and a long-planned tribute to the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. on what would have been his 75th birthday.

Members of the MLK March Committee, who worked with King and planned the tribute, complained that Bush invited himself to their party and might end up ruining the event.

But not not everyone was happy. Outside the King Center on Wednesday members of Concerned Black Clergy protested the president's visit.

"Tomorrow, the biggest hypocrisy will be perpetuated here in Atlanta," said the Rev. Tim McDonald, president of the group and pastor of First Iconium Baptist Church.

UPDATE: Ugly, ugly, ugly.

Joke

Been trying to work this one into a rant for awhile, but haven't found a place for it: everybody talks about how we need to always remember, when discussing the Islamist menace, that it was the Arabs who gave us mathematics and science.

I say, what the hell, they're not using them any more.

Still more pathetic

Good grief. Another blogger takes the meal-blogging plunge.

Please, please, please, put a man on the moon and relieve them of this boredom.

Must-read

Dennis Miller lets fly in the Times. If I'm a simplistic neanderthal in my views on the war against terrorism, at least I'm in good company:

The Sept. 11 attacks, Mr. Miller said, changed him. "Everybody should be in the protection business now," he said. "I can't imagine anybody not saying that. Well, I guess on the farthest end of the left they'd say, `That's our fault.' And on the middle end they'd say, `Well, there's another way to deal with it other than flat-out protecting ourselves.' I just don't believe that. People say we're the ones who make them hate us because of what we do. That's garbage to me. I think they're nuts. And you've got to protect yourself from nuts."

Exactly. Sometimes, nuance is overrated. Especially when it starts looking like intellectual preening.

Plus if you read all the way to the end, you get to learn about the "genius" of heroin addicts like Lenny Bruce:

"Once I hear a guy is a heroin addict, and they tell me he's a genius, I think, really? I'm not trying to be judgmental. But anybody whose last vision is of a tile pattern on a bathroom floor, I don't know what kind of genius they are."

(Link via the Perfesser)

Pathetic? You tell me.

Or, tell him.

Dean is lunch-blogging.

Curse you, Paul O'Neill!

Oh, great. Now Paul O'Neill has revealed this 1995 letter from the then-governor to President Clinton:

Dear Mr. President:

After long and careful thought, and after several years of watching the gross atrocities committed by the Bosnian Serbs, I have reluctantly concluded that the efforts of the United Nations and NATO in Bosnia are a complete failure.

Since it is clearly no longer possible to take action in conjunction with NATO and the United Nations, I have reluctantly concluded that we must take unilateral action.

What is it with this guy and unilateral action?

Waitaminnit - wha - sorry, I was mistaken. This letter is from Howard Dean. Carry on.

(Link via Tim Blair)

The world we find ourselves in

Instapundit is only the latest to link to this perfectly tuned Mark Steyn piece:

Let me see if I understand the BBC Rules of Engagement correctly: if you're Robert Kilroy-Silk and you make some robust statements about the Arab penchant for suicide bombing, amputations, repression of women and a generally celebratory attitude to September 11 – none of which is factually in dispute – the BBC will yank you off the air and the Commission for Racial Equality will file a complaint to the police which could result in your serving seven years in gaol. Message: this behaviour is unacceptable in multicultural Britain.

But, if you're Tom Paulin and you incite murder, in a part of the world where folks need little incitement to murder, as part of a non-factual emotive rant about how "Brooklyn-born" Jewish settlers on the West Bank "should be shot dead" because "they are Nazis" and "I feel nothing but hatred for them", the BBC will keep you on the air, kibitzing (as the Zionists would say) with the crème de la crème of London's cultural arbiters each week. Message: this behaviour is completely acceptable.

This makes me angry, and prone to doubt the judgment of many of the people who feed me my daily news. Is it any wonder more and more people are ignoring them? If you're getting your news from mainstream sources, you're probably being misled in many, many ways, both subtle and un-. If you're not going to read the entire Steyn piece, at least read the other portion that Instapundit excerpts.

I try to live a peaceful life, filled with good things like God and family and work and music. Live and let live. It took me awhile after 9/11 to realize that there are people who want me to stop doing all those things and either go be crazy with them or die. Fuck them, and everybody who would make excuses for them. Because if you want to make excuses for them, it doesn't matter whether you're one of them or if you're simply deluded - you're just as dangerous either way. "Engaging issues seriously" sometimes requires making judgments like that. It ain't easy. But it's moral vapidity of the most dangerous sort to pretend that making excuses for people who want to kill me isn't the same as wanting to kill me.

The Steyn article mentions the murder of Danielle Shefi, a 5-year-old girl killed by "Palestinians" in her parents' home in a Jewish settlement. Visit that page and tell me what you think is the best way to negotiate with the representatives of the culture that championed her death. The question of what to do with them becomes less sticky every day, for me.

It ain't about revenge, any more than spraying a wasp nest with poison is revenge for being stung by one of their number. It's because I know the nature of the wasp. And I am learning more every day about the nature of the Palestinian and the Islamist. The wasp nest solution would be a difficult choice if they weren't such animals. But they're becoming less human to me every day. They bring it on themselves. I pray for them, and I know God loves them. But I also know that God does not expect me to let them kill me.

Finally, after much jibber-jabber about it, finally rode MARTA into work today. I have a good reason now: I'm on the hook for an adaptation of Poe stories for my favorite community theatre (see the 2004-2005 season announcement) and after months of thinking I'd get it done at home, I got realistic. I have experience writing on the train (I wrote my adaptation of Tom Sawyer that way), and it really is an ideal way for me, at least, to write: in short undemanding bursts. I'm just not made for long concerted efforts.

I'm sorry I laughed at this

Mark Steyn on Timothy Treadwell, technical adviser on the Disney animated movie "Brother Bear":

Just as Kenai woke up to find himself trapped inside a bear, so did Mr Treadwell find himself trapped inside a bear – though in his case he was just passing through.

If you don't understand the reference, you'll just have to follow the link and start scrolling. It's about halfway down.

Belated Christmas Present

I promised a Christmas present a few days ago, but it took me awhile to get to posting it. Here it is. It's a page devoted to my home-grown method for quitting smoking. It doesn't require great willpower or huge depths of inner strength. Just a willingness to look closely at your cravings for cigarettes and treat them as the puny things that they are.

I believe that, if I can help just one person to quit through this page, it will have been worth it, especially if that person is a rich and generous recluse who will send me great green gouts of money in gratitude.

Another Comics Page Slam at Islam!

Is it just me, or does that pile of wasted snowballs look like a crescent? And do the little kids cranking the terror machine look and sound a lot like Osama Bin Laden? And does the lanky girl look like most Americans? And is she about to turn around and kill them?

Johnny Hart, eat your um heart out!

Technical Question

Tried to follow this link from the Instapundit and read what I am sure is a fascinating essay, but my screen isn't wide enough.

This happens to me on various sites from time to time. They seem to set their margins at 105%. What gives? Is it me? There's too much to read out there, I can't be bothered reading something that requires me to toggle the window left & right. Now maybe if it was a picture of Hillary Clinton's ass, I'd go to the trouble.

Cold Mountain edition of Ebert Watch

I haven't seen it yet, but I hear Cold Mountain is a pretty good movie.

When I see it, I hope to be able to choose between two opposing views of the movie:

Is it, as Mackubin Thomas Owens says, a stirring and thought provoking evocation of a heretofore little-seen aspect of the Civil War: the story of ordinary soldiers and the pressures faced on the home front by their women?

This is the "other war," one in which war has lost its nobility and those on the Confederate home front are in as much danger from other southerners as they are from Yankee marauders.

Or is it, as Roger Ebert seems to think, a poorly executed romantic drama that suffers for keeping its pretty Hollywood stars apart for most of the movie and therefore, I suppose, denies dumbo the chance to soak his hankie with tears of lovelorn gratitude?

Cold Mountain" has the same structural flaw as "The Mexican" (2001), a movie you've forgotten all about.

Great start. Assume your readers are stupid. Go from there.

Both stories establish a torrid romantic magnetism between two big stars, and then keep them far apart for almost the entire movie.

[...]So few are their meetings, indeed, that later in the story they're able to count off on their fingers every time they have seen each other, and it doesn't take long enough to make us restless.

Good thing, too. Wouldn't want a restless Roger Ebert anywhere in the theatre, probably gasping with exasperation at how long the scene's draaaagging on.

[...]His long trek back to Cold Mountain has been compared with some justice to Homer's Odyssey, since he meets fabled characters and seductresses along the way, but in a movie that begins with the two heroes barely meeting each other, this long sequence becomes alarming: Will their reunion take place in old age?

[...]To return to the comparison with "The Mexican" -- it too went to extraordinary lengths to tell parallel stories that separated Brad Pitt and Julia Roberts, despite the manifest fact that the audience had purchased tickets in order to see them together.

Geez, you'd think the weary sophisticate who took us fat stupid Americans to task for our reliance on fantasy would really really like a movie drama about sacrifices made by lovers, no matter how pretty, in a real historical war.

And, most amazingly:

There is so much to enjoy about "Cold Mountain" that I can praise it for its parts, even though it lacks a whole.

What the hell is Ebert saying here? Since the movie fails so utterly as romantic drama, how about reviewing what's actually up on the screen, popcorn breath?

I guess if you're going to believe that movies are not about what they are about, but they're about how they're about what they're about, it would help to at least know what the movie's about. I can't wait to figure it out for myself.

Ebert is certainly no help.

Mundane Blogging Today

Not in the mood for much of anything exciting. I'm a little bleary.

I opened my new bottle of Bushmills last night.

But that's not why I'm bleary. I only had one drink, a small one.

No, I made the mistake of watching episode 12 of The Shield's first season - which was so good and powerful that I had to stay up and watch episode 13, the season finale.

Somebody needs to lend me Season 2 right away!

(Although I might walk my wife through Season 1 and watch it with her.)

Well, why didn't you say so?

I've long wondered why so many people get so very worked up when athletes attribute their winning ways to God. An e-mailer to The Volokh Conspiracy seems to have hit on an explanation:

Really, the athletes should be saying, "Clearly, my free will was not in accordance with God's providence" or "My will was in accordance with God's providence," rather than blindly ascribing victory to Jesus.

Dammit, Kurt Warner, you've egregiously misstated the Augustinian formulation! No wonder everybody's always mocking your faith! You brought it on yourself, you insufficiently-versed-in-early-Church-writings um PERSON, you.

Oh, lighten up

In a fund-raiser speech Saturday Hillary Clinton attempted to leaven her remarks with a little humor:

During an event here for Senate candidate Nancy Farmer, Clinton introduced a quote from Gandhi by saying, "He ran a gas station down in St. Louis."

Lame joke, but to anyone who thinks Clinton was attempting

to fuel the stereotype often used as a comedic punch line that certain ethnic groups run America's gas stations

I've got to say, lighten up, folks. Clinton's no favorite of mine (politically, anyway. I always liked her personally. By which I mean I always found her kind of hot) but this is simply ridiculous.

In what exact way could Clinton's little gag

"...be incredibly harmful."

as Michelle Naef of the M.K. Gandhi Institute for Nonviolence said? Is there value in refraining from doing violence to the truth, as the naif in charge of the Gandhi institute has done?

Although it's refreshing to see a politician on the Left taking this kind of heat, I'm still against it on principle so I can't encourage it even when the target is Shrillary, certainly one of the more astute miners of Political Correctness for political gain.

Marsquake!

OK, a friend of mine forwarded this to me and said that in lieu of viewing the nifty Mars images with 3-d glasses, just animate the image thus.

Count Floyd was more convincing. And scarier!

Sacagawea Resolution Bloggers Challenge

I really like the Sacagawea $1 coin.

I'm not into Sacagawea, or Lewis & Clark, or equal rights for women on coins, or saving trees by doing away with $1 bills. I just like it. I think it's practical and beautiful. I was bemoaning its apparent unpopularity with a friend the other day. I was dismayed that, just a few years after it was introduced, I was unable to get any at my bank. My friend challenged me to just go spend some of them if I want them in circulation.

I thought that was a good idea, and now I think I've got a better one.

My New Year's Resolution is to put 100 Sacagawea Dollars into circulation. And I challenge other bloggers to do the same. If you like the Sacagawea Dollar, please, link to this post (or to another Sacagawea Resolution post) and resolve to do the same. If enough people do this, maybe this woefully ignored coin will come into fashion.

In order to heighten the coolness factor, I'm going to mark all my Sacagaweas with a Sharpie marker. This will rub off very quickly, but I also encourage other bloggers to do the same. If you spend a Sacagawea, mark it with a Sharpie. If you get a Sacagawea with a Sharpie mark on it, chances are it was circulated by a fellow blogger!

To start, I plan to purchase a roll of Sacagawea coins (they come in $25 rolls) and mark mine by simply running the Sharpie along the edge of the stack in a few places. Let me know if you get one of mine!

Watch for Sacagawea-blogging throughout '04.

UPDATE: Shot In The Dark Blogger Mitch Berg has taken the Sacagawea Challenge! And he's already ahead of Boviosity. A comment at his site raises an issue that I've already thought about - Sacagawea sinks. I'll struggle not to put my Sacagaweas into closed systems like the US Post Office, which gives the dollars in change.

The Power Of Pong

My son received Test Drive, a Playstation II game for Christmas. The game was released by Atari, and one of the cool features is that you can play Pong while waiting for the more elaborate game to load.

Will tried the game for the very first time yesterday evening. I was surprised and delighted to see the Pong game pop up. And I was amazed to see Will instinctively move the paddle to catch the "ball." I asked him if he had ever played the game before. "Nope." Ever seen it? "Nope." Ever heard of it? "Nope."

I'm not claiming that my son is amazingly smart (although he is.) I'm more taken with the notion that Pong holds some kind of instinctual computer gaming space and that Atari chose exactly the right game to start the videogaming craze. No, not that they chose it - rather, it's the atom of videogaming. Newton's First Law of videogaming, maybe.

I do remember meeting people who just couldn't grasp the concept of Pong, though. Those people scared me.

"Just hit the ball back!"

"What ball?"

"OK, that little dot? It's like a ball. Hit it."

"With what?"

"The paddle."

"I don't see a paddle."

"That line. It's like a paddle."

"How do I move it?"

"By twisting the knob. It's the only thing on the whole machine that you can move, so I thought you would instinctually grab it and start twisting it."

"..."

"OK, sorry, that was uncalled for."

"How do I make it beep?"

Best Lunch Poll Ever!

I wondered why Jim Treacher's "Best Of '03" poll didn't include the legendary lunch poll. Now I know: it was in '02! My, how the time do fly.

For the record, I voted for the sammich.

But that's old news. Vote for "Removing Saddam Nonviolently!"

Holy crap!

Ain't technology amazing?

(Via Jeff Jarvis, who advises, "Look up at the fall of ticker rain.") I'll add, give the color time to pop in.