You know how, when you're watching a baseball game on TV, the camera seems to linger on every player long enough to GUARANTEE that they'll spit unpleasantly? Suppose one of those players was actually suffering from an overproduction of saliva that day due to some physical problem, and you went up to him after the game and said, "Man, you were disgusting on TV today!" and he said, "I know, I'm sorry, I have a spitting problem right now." It would be a little awkward, but you'd have the consolation of knowing that you'd made an observation about baseball players that was generally accurate.
That's how I feel about the beginning of this John Kessler column. Although he's not discussing bodily functions by this point, I can't help but read this
I still remember one visit to Figo Pasta when I had to grunt and make unpleasant noises behind someone's back until he relinquished his stool.
and say, "I'll bet you did, John. I'll just bet you did."
Grunt on, John. The obligatory unpleasant eating imagery is on view, too, albeit slightly cloaked:
Pasta in cream sauce here just seems to stare up at you from the plate and go, "Glub, glub." I remember one night we tried mightily to make a dent in the squash ravioli with mascarpone cream and radicchio.
This unsavory attention to gustatory detail just sets me off, I guess.
Who can see this and doubt that God has a sense of humor?
I, a Christian, say Judge Moore is breaking the commandment against graven images. Heathenish blogger The Instapundit says he's bearing false witness. Hey, who should know better, me or Reynolds?
Or maybe he's doing both. Can anyone else point out any more of the Ten Commandments that Judge Moore is breaking?
This is freaking hilarious:
The Lemon Presents: The Lifecycle of a News StoryAUSTRAILIA IS MASSING AN ARMY OF KILLER SENTIENT CROCODILES, I WONDER IF THEY PLAN TO ATTACK US? ALSO PLEASE HIT MY TIPJAR!
The slam on Dan Rather is particularly on-target.
(Link via Dean)
Interesting point in this article on Judge Moore, the Alabama Chief Justice who loves the Ten Commandments so much that he has created a beautiful graven image of them and is demanding that it be given the respect due to God's holy word*:
Alabama Attorney General Bill Pryor, one of the few state officials providing some adult supervision on the matter, is unpersuaded. "The rule of law means that no person, including the chief justice of Alabama, is above the law," he said last week. "We all must obey the orders of these courts even when we disagree with those orders." By the way, Mr. Pryor, a nominee for a federal judgeship, is currently being blocked by Senate Democrats who claim he can't be trusted to uphold the law on the federal bench. His willingness to stand against Justice Moore in the face of public anger gives the lie to that claim.
*Yes, that's sarcasm. Judge Moore is a power-mad politician who has set up a 5000-lb granite ego sink as a monument to his expert ability to recognize a hot-button issue when he sees it. It's truly sad that so many people think it's fun to ignore these laws that God has written on our hearts. But Judge Moore is doing nothing to help that situation, and much to hurt it. Shame.
Saturday: disc golf.
Fun for the whole family!
I kicked their *sses.
'course, it's not too difficult beating the two kids (short arms) and the wife (zero killer instinct.) I did manage one par and several bogeys, and only one triple bogey.
Saturday was one of those days that could have gone either way. We played disc golf in the morning, then I played music with some friends at an old folks' home, and that evening Will & I went to see a play directed by a friend. There was a time, dear reader, when the prospect of any one of those events would have caused me to put off the other two in order to give the chosen event its "full due," whatever that is. I don't know what it is, that's for sure. Life is for living, and the naps will come. I even had one of those, too, on Sunday.
Dave James is funny. Dave James is furious. Only one of these attributes is usually in plain view. If he ever loses his temper (like I did below) I'll be very surprised and more than a little frightened.
Boviosity is #2 at Google when searching for "Brian Jones!" Boviosity is #2 at Google when searching for "Brian Jones!"
How the hell did that happen? Anybody? Anybody? Guy? I think this is pretty damned amazing considering the number of fansites out there for the Stones' Brian Jones.
I was googling to find a Brian Jones Of the Week for me to put up tomorrow, and found that Boviosity is #2 at Google when searching for "Brian Jones!"
I think this makes me Brian Jones of the Week.
It's going to be light posting from here until Halloween, I suspect. Auditions are tomorrow for the play I'm directing (site seems to be down now) and I'm going to be very busy. I've got auditions Monday & Tuesday, then callbacks on Wednesday. It's going to be a hellacious three nights.
Hellacious fun, that is.
By the way, if you enjoy the image on the 404 page for this site, it comes from the New London website. That's me as kindly bachelor Matthew Cuthbert in New London's "Anne Of Green Gables." There are plenty of pics of yours truly at the New London site, so if you're jonesing for a Brian Jones of the Week, just poke around there. The image to the left is also from New London. That's me as the bloviating (or boviating) Mayor Shinn from "The Music Man."
Headline in today's Atlanta Journal & Constitution (print only, apparently):
Hamas leader's slaying prompts end of truce
That's some truce, the kind where you get to KILL CHILDREN ON A PUBLIC BUS and then proclaim immunity for the leadership of your group. If I'm ever a terrorist, that's the kind of truce I'm going to want.
Lead on a story about the events in the area online:
JERUSALEM -- Israel plans to kill more militant leaders if the Palestinians do not begin arresting and disarming extremists, Israeli officials warned on Friday following a lethal helicopter missile strike on a Hamas chief.
Shouldn't that say, "Israel plans to kill more militant leaders if the militant leaders don't stop KILLING CHILDREN?"
Oh, and dig this:
The militants called off their two-month-old cease-fire and promised more suicide bombings and other attacks on Israeli targets
[in response to the Israeli action]
Wasn't the cease-fire over when the murdering pig-sacs KILLED A BUNCH OF CHILDREN AND OTHER CIVILIANS ON A PUBLIC BUS?
And don't get me started on the talk I hear of Israeli "retaliation" for the bus bombing by killing one of the people responsible. What we need is some "pretaliation." Kill the people who are planning these actions. Now. Before they kill more innocents.
I find this ginned-up tit-for-tat infuriating. When a suspected murderer is holed up in a home, firing out into the street and threatening to kill more people, and is taken out by a SWAT sniper, do we say that SWAT retaliated for the murderer's crime? No. The Israelis have dozens upon dozens if not hundreds of murderers holed up all across the Gaza strip. Take 'em out.
I frequently dream beautiful melodies while in that twilight between full sleep and waking. They never make it into this world. Instead, last night I dreamed this little joke and I can't stop thinking about it. Is it funny at all? Frequent Commenter Guy Smilee once told me of a similar jest, (paraphrasing here) "It has technical aspects that define it as a joke." This was obviously said as proof against laughing too hard and maybe harming himself.
So anyway, here's the Dream Joke:
A man is talking to a woman in a bar when a group of deaf people walks in. They're talking back and forth in sign language and laughing amongst themselves, and the guy is also amused by them: he keeps looking in on their conversation and laughing to himself a bit. The woman, intrigued, says, "So, you speak sign language? Do you have a deaf brother or something?" and the guy replies, "No, I'm just amused by sign language."
Interestingly, I didn't "witness" this scenario in my dream. No, in my dream, I was doing something or other, and the line, "I'm amused by sign language" occurred to me, and just as I would have in waking life, I crafted it into the joke you see above. Not for me the interesting dream scenario of sitting in a bar chatting up a young beauty. No, my dreams are just like my waking: a series of random odd thoughts sometimes interrupted by survival issues.
Study: More than half give consent for organ donations -- headline, ajc.com, August 18.
College freshmen urged to beat vaccine deadline -- Headline, ajc.com, August 18.
(I'm filling in for James Taranto while he's on vacation.)
Hello, and welcome to Hell Is Other Diners, a new feature here at Boviosity.
Jean-Paul Sartre famously said that, "Hell is other people." Well, I'm not that French, but I will say that I would hate to be stuck in a restaurant with some of the food writers I read. I love to eat (look at the picture if you doubt that) and I love to read. So food writing would seem to be a natural fit for me. But I can't tell you how frequently my stomach is turned by the food writing I read.
I admit, even though I love to eat, I'm not a "foodie" and, thank heavens, I don't have "foodie friends." A lone foodie in a restaurant is fine, I suppose - probably not all that easy to recognize. But get a bunch of them together, and you have a bunch of folks cooing, gasping, nodding, laughing too loud, and shoving food into each others' mouths. Don't believe me? Keep reading this feature and you will.
I actually think there's a difference between being a foodie and being a foodie friend. One can say, "I enjoy trying new things, and I have an adventurous palate." But "foodie friends" conjures the above images, with, possibly, surreptitious (or blatant) licking of plates. Eccch. (I once attended a restaurant recommended by the Atlanta Journal-Constitution's John Kessler, a notorious foodie friend. I made it a point to ask my waitress for dishes not licked by John Kessler or anybody else, if it was at all possible.)
So, without further ado, let's look at the Hell that is other diners for today!
I'm going to start with a little bit of a cheat. This is the headline that gave me the idea for this column. Although the writer seems to advocate doing this in the privacy of one's own home, it's rude and icky enough to start with. First of all, I must warn you: don't click on this link if you have a weak stomach.
It's an article about fresh garden tomatoes, and the headline is:
Fruit fresh off the vine produces dribble-down-the chin bliss
All together now: EEEEWWW!!!
I'm glad that the web page features the author photo. I'm sure she's a nice enough looking young lady, but did I really need an actual picture of the mouth from which the tomato flesh is gushing, and the chin down which it is dribbling? Shouldn't the headline be, "Eat tomato sandwiches slowly, lest you wind up looking like a barbarian?" You're PROUD of your inability to control your bodily functions? This is bliss?
If you're, say, 2 years old, I suppose it is.
Oh, and in case you're thinking, "Aaaww, that's just a headline-writer's bad idea of a compelling teaser," I give you this, from the actual story:
All it takes is one bite of a fresh, fleshy, misshapen orb with so much extra flavor it goes dribbling down your chin to get Martha Woods' point. It's simply a matter of good taste.
It certainly is, Reagan. It certainly is.
UPDATE: The paper had a fire drill this morning, and I saw Reagan in person. She really is a lovely person. It's unfortunate that I couldn't help but envision her with tomato guts dribbling down her chin. Cursed food-writer style!
This fellow's site is a real beauty. I really like the way he lovingly photographs and presents his models. The site does an amazingly good job of pointing the way to pornography without actually going anywhere near it. Bravo, Brian Jones (Model Engineer), you're our Brian Jones Of The Week!
I know it's probably self-serving, but today feels like a Free Day. You know, like the day after your doctor tells you the spot on your X-ray was a bit of dirt on the lens. I was in my new health club when the lights went out up north, and like many people, terrorism was among my first thoughts. I even started a mental countdown - how long would it take for the lights in my Deep South location to wink out?
A massive event like this would be a terrorist's dream, even if it did as little real damage as this one seems to have done.
Today, I just feel giddy and silly. It wasn't them. They're in my thoughts, which is where I'm sure they want to be, but it wasn't them. They've apparently devoted themselves to being picked off in the Iraqi desert, and I say bring 'em on.
I don't know what would have happened if I'd had to fight during my time in the Army. Guys in my barracks used to brag openly about the rape and pillage they would perform if the Cold War we were fighting became a shooting war. I was almost as afraid of some of them as of the enemy. And I can't say I envy the people who are fighting in the desert now. I've been troubled by a tendency to think along those lines, and I think I've figured it out. No, I wouldn't want to be there. But a part of me is there nevertheless. Godspeed, guys. We're over here watching and hoping and thankful for what you're doing. I believe you're making a difference. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise.
Check out Mitch Berg's weblog, Shot In The Dark. He links me today, because I sent him a funny link. You'll have to go there to see it.
If I ever put on a play with characters from all over the world except the usual places (New York, Scotland, England, Ireland) this site will come in awfully handy.
Please call Stella. Ask her to bring these things with her from the store: Six spoons of fresh snow peas, five thick slabs of blue cheese, and maybe a snack for her brother Bob. We also need a small plastic snake and a big toy frog for the kids. She can scoop these things into three red bags, and we will go meet her Wednesday at the train station.
Maureen Dowd reports on John Kerry spokesman David Wade, writing on Kerry's weblog:
[...]they're asking John Kerry about his life, his service in Vietnam and his fight for veterans when he came home — it's something I forget about, working for him every day, taking for granted the quality of the person leading this campaign.
This guy is either lying or suffering from some previously undiagnosed short term memory deficiency. He forgot Kerry's service in Vietnam? I've never seen the man make even one appearance without mentioning it.
(Link via the Instapundit. I swear.)
Let's start with a hymn, shall we?
(sung to the tune of "God Bless America")
I am an Anglican.
I'm C of E.
Neither high church,
Nor low church,
I am Catholic and Protestant and free.
Not a Mormon,
Not a Presby,
Not a Baptist
White with foam,
I am an Anglican,
One step from Rome!
I am an Anglican,
One step from Rome.
(No, I didn't write that, by the way. It's all over the internet. I saw it on alt.religion.christian.episcopal.)
Nobody at my church is talking (with me) about the election of Gene Robinson, an openly gay man, to the position of Bishop of New Hampshire diocese of the Episcopal church. Sunday my preacher only mentioned the issue to say he wouldn't be talking about it in his sermon, and referred any questions about the General Convention to the three parishioners who were there. My only exposure to actual in-your-face debate/arguing/outrage on the issue is the newsgroup, alt.religion.christian.episcopal.
My personal opinion is pretty close to this one here, stated by a gay guy on a.r.c.e. in response to a post laying out the opposite position. The opposing guy goes first:
Where I DO think we have solid ground for argument is this: This man is open and practicing homosexual, who obviously isn't repentent because he obviously doesn't think his homosexuality is something he need to repent from.Precisely. If faithful love is not a burden upon one's duly-informed and prayerful examination of conscience, then it is hardly sinful, even by Roman Catholic theological standards. The key point is that the appeal to conscience cannot be used as a "slider". One must truly be convinced, and with sound reason and sober judgment, that what one are doing is a furtherance of God's Loving Presence and Compassion on earth.
Now, there are those who reply, "aaah, so anything goes as long as the go-er
has convinced himself he's all right." But I think that ignores the "sound
reason and sober judgment" aspect of Dana's presentation. Sure, Ted Bundy
thought he was as a God, but that doesn't mean he would be elected Bishop.
And, yes, as many many many many people on a.r.e. point out, I'm quite sure there are pig f*ckers and pedophiles and other freaks just itching to become Episcopal Bishops now. They ignore that the true indicator of Gene Robinson's "sound reason and sober judgment" is that he made it through a nomination and election process overseen by others of sr & sj.
I've read a little bit of scholarly writing on the issue; there are bible verses
that, read uncritically, lend much support to the notion that homosexuality
is a sin. Here is the most convincing study of the topic I've found. I'll just copy the intro here, because the whole thing needs to be read and understood.
Sexual issues are tearing our churches apart today as never before. The issue of homosexuality threatens to fracture whole denominations, as the issue of slavery did one hundred and fifty years ago. We naturally turn to the Bible for guidance and find ourselves mired in interpretive quicksand. Is the Bible able to speak to our confusion on this issue?The debate over homosexuality is a remarkable opportunity, because it raises in an especially acute way how we interpret the Bible, not in this case only, but in numerous others as well. The real issue here, then, is not simply homosexuality, but how Scripture informs our lives today.
Is he using special pleading to make a sin OK because it makes him feel enlightened? I can't say. I can say that I'm more troubled by people who use the bible to thwack people over the head for sins that just "feel wrong," while ignoring the many enjoinders against head-thwacking.
It's interesting to see a bunch of Episcopalians, who would normally snicker at fundamentalists, using this issue as an excuse to return to "keeping the scriptures free of humanist taint." We episcopalians are encouraged to "read, mark, and inwardly digest" the scripture and use our reason and experience to understand it in order to make a way for ourselves and God in the world. If these gays feel that they are made this way and that it would kill them inside not to be able to get some backdoor lovin', then I can't see God having any more problem than with any of us other sinners.
A troubling aspect of this is that, as the African bishops point out (see the other links on this page for other samples), it goes against a resolution passed in the last Lambeth Conference (the worldwide meeting of the Anglican Communion, held every 10 years) where the communion agreed they wouldn't pull anything like this, specifically as related to homosexuality. So they have a procedural argument against this kind of thing as it is understandably a shock to their communicants. Of course, the African Bishops are the ones who received special dispensation to admit polygamists because that's just the way it's done over thereabouts. I'm not saying that excuses anything and everything goes, but the Lambeth Conference resolution was not binding and it's still a matter of conscience, not mere procedure, whether or not the US Church has forced a schism.
Whew. One more thing. The Anglican Communion has survived storms like this in the past, most recently with the ordination of women. The objection to homosexuality feels a whole lot like those objections, to me. As much as I wish to avoid the appearance of preening my open-mindedness, I will say that the bilge spewing from a lot of those in opposition to this guy makes me glad I've found a way to disagree with them. Yeah, that puts me on the side of some really bad queens who scream homophobia when somebody cuts them off in traffic, but so be it.
My company was bit by (apparently) the LoveSan worm today. We had no web access and so I actually did some work instead of blogging.
So I take this moment to simply tell out-of-town drivers:
When you see a sign reading, "Lane Ends Merge Left" you may be tempted to believe that the lane is ending and you should merge left. But check the sign a little closer first. If the sign is made of steel, on a steel post embedded in concrete, merge, I say.
However, if it's one of those temporary signs, IT COULD MEAN ANYTHING. This morning, for instance, it meant LEFT LANE CLOSED AHEAD.
Man, when are utility construction crews going to wise up and hire someone who's capable of putting up the proper signage?
I had the pleasure of dining with regular commenter Guy Smilee and his lovely and doctor-licious wife last night. Tasha put together an absolutely incredible dinner of chicken, tomato tartlet with pesto, garden vegetables, bread, wine, and cobbler and brownies for dessert, and probably some other stuff I'm forgetting. Oh, and although Guy didn't partake, I discovered that placing a sprig of mint in a glass of Jim Beam is far more delicious than any elaborate Mint Julep concoction. (Just so we're clear: Guy forewent only the mint.)
Describing this feast is probably a way of assuaging my guilt at fleecing Guy at Tiger Woods 2003 Golf. Sorry, man.
You cannot reach me, Dubya.Go ahead, ya smirkin' Texas lug, stumble around all scrunched and blank eyed and pseudo-manly, shove this country into a bloody unwinnable war and lie about all the reasons why, gouge the economy and ruin the schools and embarrass the nation every single day as you mangle grammar and meaning and truth. It doesn't really matter.
Read the whole thing. Keep a barf bag handy.
If I'm going to blog every day, I should have something to say, shouldn't I?
OK, how's this: I have a gut feeling that Gray Davis will survive the California recall. I don't have strong feelings one way or the other (OK, I'm ashamed of the Republicans for pulling this crap.)
OK, it's been awhile. It's easy to get out of blogging but I spoke with a reader last night who I didn't even know I had (and who's going to force me to wear a suit in a few weeks), so I thought I'd better put up some content. So, without further ado, here's this week's Brian Jones.
I found this Brian Jones's site about a year ago and I visit it every now and then just to read it. His philosophy of agathism is thought-provoking, although I think I've turned it around in my mind a bit. He says,
According to the Oxford English Dictionary, it's "The doctrine that all things tend towards ultimate good, as distinguished from optimism, which holds that all things are now for the best."
I don't know where all things are tending, but I take from it a sense that the small contributions to the good which I am capable of, will contribute to the ultimate good. This might seem obvious but I think it's easy to lose sight of. Hell, there might be a word for that, too, but nevertheless, Brian Jones, creator of agathism.com, you're our Brian Jones of the week!