Scofflaw Dad
If you want to be a hero to your 10-year-old son, really nothing beats standing out in the road shooting off illegal firecrackers and bottle rockets.
The drunks down the street were sending up some bigger ordnance, the kind that shoots up 60 or 70 feet on a plume of green sparks and makes a nice flower of white at the top. I felt inadequate for about 5 seconds. But they were too damn drunk to be shooting off fireworks, and so two of the rockets wound up headed down the street toward us.
Another way to be a hero to your 10-year-old son is, sadly, to scream "FLAMING ASSHOLES!" at the drunks down the street who are shooting off larger fireworks than yourself, and doing it badly.
Will is different about the fireworks this year. Last year he stayed in the grass and watched me light them. This year he had to take his turn to light them. So we went through the whole safety briefing: don't stand over them, hold the lighter away from your body, don't be a FLAMING ASSHOLE! It's been awhile since he just came right out and said, "I love you, Dad," like he did on the 4th.
I'm driving to the state line to get some more before his birthday.
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We have a theory that every state has a neigboring state where you can buy fireworks. Here, it's New Hampshire. I don't know how that squares with the states in which you actually can buy fireworks.
I didn't say it was a *good* theory.
Posted by: Farmer Joe | July 8, 2004 11:13 PM
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The reason to buy more fireworks is to aim at flaiming assholes who are to drunk to be shooting any off.
This will teach your children a valuable leson about defending your turf, as well as escalation and arms races.
Start saving up for next year. They will bow before the conquering hero.
Posted by: IXLNXS | July 9, 2004 11:41 PM
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You're a good Dad.
Remember when you were a kid and you wanted to be shooting off at least some of the big stuff? And sure your neighbor might have been aiming too close. You get some good ones and take the kid to a place where it won't do any harm and tick no one off and you let him go.
Same thing with guns. Like a tool if they are taught about it they will learn to respect it, rather than hiding or locking away.
i'm this bleeding lefty kind of guy and sometimes I swear the stuff coming out of my mouth sounds so right wing.
Posted by: IXLNXS | August 30, 2004 08:38 PM