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John Kerry:

Spandex-Clad Hunch-Monkey

(Phrase courtesy of DaveJames. You are reading curiousfurious, aren't you?)

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Howzabout this one:

George Bush - "Snakeskinned Pretzel Casualty"

Try this fun game at home (or work): http://www.screensaver.com/BushPretzelGame.cfm

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