Atlantic Monthly "Gets" Dr. Laura
I posted awhile back about how Dr. Laura influenced me to reexamine my relationship with my family and with God. Now Caitlin Flanagan in The Atlantic Monthly of all places writes with deep understanding about her. I definitely couldn't have said it better myself.
She's a fishwife and a bit of a kook, a woman given to comically dramatic changes of heart and habit, but Dr. Laura gives some of the best advice about marriage and family life available on the radio, or perhaps anywhere in popular American culture. I say this somewhat wearily, for it is no easy task defending this woman.
She got that right. I've never mentioned her without someone else in the room howling with derision. Usually it's someone who's never listened to the show, of course.
Flanagan's conclusion is especially apt:
There are many of us who understand that once you have children, certain doors ought to be closed to you forever. That to do right by a child means more than buying him the latest bicycle helmet and getting him on the best soccer team. It means investing oneself completely in the marriage that wrought him, for there isn't a person in the world who won't date his moments of greatest happiness to the time his family was the most intact, whole, unshakable. I wish there was someone a bit more hip and glamorous than Laura standing up for this simple truth, but in our time and place there isn't."Do as I say, not as I do" might be Schlessinger's motto—never a particularly inspiring credo, yet I am often inspired by Dr. Laura. More than once I have thought through a problem and behaved in a way that's made me proud because I've followed advice gleaned from her show. The measure of a person, she believes (and I have come to believe), is found not in what one thinks but in what one does. Action is everything. It's a lesson I could have learned from Aristotle, I suppose, but Aristotle doesn't have a three-hour slot on AM radio. Nor could he have imagined the complete mess that so many Americans have made of family life.
I only wish I could still listen to her - she's not on in Atlanta, at least not that I know of. Maybe I don't need to, really. I got what I needed from her. She is everything Flanagan says and more - infuriating, cloying, shrill - but even when she's wrong she's wrong for the right reasons. Her eye is on the prize. And she can be very, very entertaining. I wish more people who normally would scoff could understand her as well as Flanagan does.
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I have to disagree with you quite a bit.
Dr. Laura is okay on the subject of marriage, but I've heard her give some stunningly bad career advice (Telling an accountant to just set down the rules that he won't work more than 50 hours a week during tax season? You can't do that. My mother was an accountant, and I know that accountants work 70-80 hours a week during tax season. They just do. They all do. If you don't, you'll probably get fired. Telling a prospective fiction author that it's "easy" to get published? Sure, maybe it's easy if you're a nationally known radio personality writing non-fiction. A first time novelist? Be serious.)
I also hate the way she makes an assessment of someone's situation in the first 15 seconds and then proceeds to browbeat them for the rest of the call.
If Dr. Laura has inspired you in your faith, that's great, but don't let that lull you into thinking that shrill harpie is a positive force.
Posted by: Guy Smilee | January 27, 2004 05:56 PM
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Very eloquent, Dr. Smilee. I was just going to call her a c*nt.
However good her advice might be, I could never get past how hateful and condescending she was to most of her callers.
Posted by: Joe Martin | January 28, 2004 08:14 AM
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Did you read the linked article? The author mentions those very sins: imperfect advice (Guy) and hateful condescension toward her listeners (Joe). Maybe my blockquote didn't give an adequate flavor of that, but it's all there.
Posted by: Brian Jones | January 28, 2004 09:06 AM
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I vote with Brian on this one. She is a natural bitch, and most of her callers are, in fact, weak-willed and low in the self-esteem department, however her moral compass is steel-wrapped.
Posted by: FF | January 28, 2004 04:05 PM
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But no, I didn't read the linked article. Why would I want to go to the Atlantic Monthly website? Liberal rubbish!
Posted by: Joe Martin | January 29, 2004 08:13 AM
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1. Dr. Laura is a case in which we must pay more attention to message than to messanger.
2. We probably should stop linking political affiliation with family-enhancing human qualities such as integrity, fidelity, and personal responsibility. I have known plenty of drunken, unfaithful conservatives and sober, responsible liberals.
I myself might be considered liberal and even radical in my attitudes regarding large corporations (and their control of the Republican party), the environment, and women's rights; yet in my private life my husband and I adhere to Dr. Laura's values. Yep, faithfulness, personal responsibility, self-restraint and care for the children.
Maybe this is just a quaint midwestern cultural byway, but many of my friends, associates, and neighbors live this way also, regardless of political persuasion, ethnicity or sexual orientation. I think in the Gospel of John Jesus points out that the kingdom of God is for everyone, not only those who consider themselves "chosen" in some way (wealth, cultural or religious affiliation, or whatever.)
3. I'm not sure I any longer understand what a conservative or liberal is. Must a conservative be oppressive of women? Must a liberal be irresponsible? Perhaps we need new categories, or possibly new names for the peculiar categories that seem to be evolving.
Posted by: Lea | January 30, 2004 11:25 AM
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Lea,
Joe was joking. He's a yellow-dog Democrat (the Hannitization hasn't taken yet.) However, your comments are very welcome. Thanks for visiting, please come and see us again!
(Joe, sorry if I'm using old info. And I know your dog isn't yellow.)
Posted by: Brian Jones | January 30, 2004 11:41 AM
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Yellow-dog? Perhaps not. But, despite the moderator's assertion on another topic, I believe someone who disagrees with a hard-liner (e.g. Hannity) can honestly call themselves an "independent". I tend to agree with the adage (was it Churchill?) "If you are young and aren't liberal, you have no heart. If you are older and are not conservative, you have no head." Or something like that.
And if you vote Republican, you have no soul.
(Just kidding!)
Posted by: Joe Martin | January 30, 2004 06:18 PM